I had an epiphany today. Which led me to a few other thoughts. I'll start with those thoughts first and then move on to my newest awakening.
Spoiler Alert: This post has NOTHING to do with RVing, so if you're only interested in our RVing life, click on a different post. This post is directly related to how I see the world, no matter if my house has wheels or not.
Many years ago, I made a conscious decision to do the following:
1. Banish envy from my life. I realized in my early 30s that envy was a complete waste of time and energy. What you can find to be envious of (better body, nicer home, more money) is but a SINGLE aspect of that person's life. Would you really be willing to give up all the positive (and negative) attributes of your life to have that single ideal? I doubt it – therefore, being envious of that single aspect is pure folly. No need for that, so envy is out!
2. Address people by their name. I seem to be blessed by a face that's easy to forget. Time and time again, I have been around people who have seen me in their daily life (at our childrens' school, in my woman's group, at the office) who I will run into somewhere else, like in the grocery store. I will go up to said person and say 'hello' to which I will be rewarded with a confused / skeptical / panicked look and a stilted 'hi'. As I got older, I gave up skulking away like the non-person I used to feel like. I have been known to completely embarrass people by calling out their lack of acknowledgement with a, “yes, you know me, I see you every day in the school pick up line”.
In an effort to turn this situation around, I decided over 2 decades ago to lead by example. To PAY ATTENTION when people introduce themselves to me and then REMEMBER their name, so I can address them by it later. It's not rocket science; no secret power is required, just a dedication to paying attention to people. And why shouldn't we pay attention to people? We can sing one hit wonders by heart, we can recite commercials for products we don't even buy, we should remember the name of the people we meet face to face.
For all you people who tell me, 'I'm not good with names', I am calling you out! There's one reason you're 'not good with names' and that's because you've stopped paying attention to the people you're talking to. Stop being so busy and start 'being good with names'.
And now the part you've been waiting for… my epiphany!
So, today I was bemoaning the fact in my head, that I can't “see” my family with unbiased eyes. I can't see my kids like you can. I can't see my husband, or even my two dogs, the way you can. With your level headed mind. You know how you can look at someone else's situation and clearly see the solution? But you can't see your own solutions? That's the kind of blindess I'm talking about.
Therefore, if I can't see my own family, how is it possible for me to judge anyone? Somewhere in the last 5 years, 'being judged' has become my #1 fear. Being judged as a mom is on the top of the list, but being judged as a business owner, as a wife, as a person who full time rvs, its all there too.
I realize 'judging' is a part of human nature, and it helps us to protect ourselves and our loved ones, but judging moms, dads, or other people's kids is not necessary and so now, in my first year of my 4th decade on earth, I am giving up on both judging and feeling judged.
If I can't see my own family in an unbiased light, then chances are, you can't either, which leads to a lack of ability to judge on your part as well.
Phew! I feel so much better! How 'bout you?